Baby Fever

No I don’t have it. That is the thing, I have never had it. Never. But I feel like every woman around me currently wants to be a mom or is becoming one and it is beginning to make me feel weird. Plus, with Andy and I getting married in just under two months that seems like the next logical step to everyone. So my dear blog, I am going to use this time to be completely honest about kids and my plans for the future.

They scare me. Everything about them scares me. First off, bringing them into this world is horribly painful…unless you are on drugs and even then I hear is painful…you just don’t particularly care. Then there are all these decisions you have to make about how to raise them. To breast feed or not to breast feed. I was always on the “not to breast feed” side of camp. I wasn’t breast fed and neither was my sister. Aside from my unnatural fear of aliens and Lindsay’s fear of the dark…we are just fine. But when I say this to people, I feel judged. I am not even a mom yet and I feel like a horrible mother.

Then there is the poop and the vomit part of babies. I don’t handle bodily fluids well. I was barely able to potty train my cats (Monkey still revolts every once in a while) how the hell do you convince a little person to use the facilities? I have heard that bribing them is the most effective way.

Also, I do not want to have kids without living in a house. A house with a yard and a fence. I don’t need to own said house, renting is fine…I just want the house. I do not want to raise my kids in an apartment. This is a hang up I have from growing up. We lived right next door to these really sketchy apartments and the kids always seemed miserable.

What if I have a boy? I know nothing about boys. I am a girl. My sister is a girl (obvious I know). Girls are what I know. Boys are a completely different animal to me. From everything I hear…they are really fascinated with poop (see above paragraph about my feelings on poop).

With that said, when I see Andy around children and I see how much he wants to be a dad…I know that I have to have at least one for him. I have questions about what kind of a parent I will make, but I know without a doubt, that Andy will be the best dad a kid could ever ask for (the kid better enjoy fishing).

So yes, I am saying it here publicly for the first time…”I Carly will most likely have a child.” Don’t get your hopes up too fast people, I am going to wait until I turn 30 to really start thinking about it. There is far too much I want to do before I drag a little kid into my life.