It's a New Year Damn it!

I celebrated the new year quietly at a friend's house. Every so often I get the urge to do things more crazy and elaborate. Maybe I should go dancing, maybe I should go drinking? But these moods are brief and I realize that I have just as much fun in a familar place with familar faces. Slowly I am realizing that I am fine with keeping things simple and that is just who I am turning into. I used to look at the times and parties I used to have and wonder what happened? Why do I not like doing that anymore? I felt something was wrong with me.

I have felt for awhile that I have lost some spark or color that I used to have. I mostly see it in the pictures I take now. My smile seems dull and fake. The above picture make me feel different. I look damn good in this pic, and folks that is a real smile. I haven't seen that smile since I was 22. This picture makes me happy and gives me hope that I am doing the right thing. Finding my lost spark is not going to be easy, but I am taking the correct steps to get it back.

I am walking more in the hopes of getting healthy again. Andy and I are constantly seeking and trying out new adventures. I have decided to apply for grad school and that scares the shit out of me. I probably won't get in, but I have to give it my best shot. These are all things that when I think about them, I smile and I feel a little bit of color sweep back into my soul.