New Directions

I recently applied for two different advising jobs here on campus. I am not actively looking for a new job, but I honestly could not pass up the opprotunity. I really didn't think I would make it that far in the hiring process, so I was totally surprised when I got a phone interview for one of the jobs. The interview was not horrible, but it was not great either, but I thought I might have had a shot at progressing to the next round. I was mistaken. Which ended up bothering more than I thought it would. Plus, I wasn't even considered for the other job I had applied for...which really hurts.

I think overall, I am scared. I am scared that eventhough I have been working in higher education for seven plus years, I really don't have much experience, or the right experience. And while I really want to waive the internship component of my grad program I am worried that I will be setting myself up for failure. Maybe I should set up an appointment with my advisor. Oh the irony!

In general I am just feeling like my life is stuck right now and either one of these jobs could have been the kick in the butt I needed to make some changes. I have had the same job for four years, I have been living in the same apartment for five years, and I have been in grad school for three years. It feels like I am surrounded by people who are progressing in life and I am in the same place I have been for a couple of years.

I know...cry me a river. This coming from the girl who is going to Europe in just a little under two months and is in the middle of buying a house. I know I am lucky and that I am doing things many people don't get to do. Also, I realize that ultimately I can change these things. And I want to. I want to feel like I am full of life and that I am healthy. I wish I could put it all into words a little bit better. I am just feeling disappointed in my life right now.